Wisdom of a Mom

I think of my mother often and remember everyday many of the lessons learned from her. As a child, my mother was always there. She cooked, cleaned and sat at her sewing machine for hours making clothes for others. I can't even begin to count the number of cheerleading uniforms she made.

As I grew up there were many hours spent learning to read. I get my love of literature from her. It began when I was around five. I would sit in my chair by her sewing machine and she would sew while teaching me to read.

As I said I learned many things from her but of all the lessions she taught me there are two that spring to mind most often.

I had a friend whose mother didn't give her a lot of time. She often came to my mother who would listen to her and spend time with her. When we were about seven, I decided I didn't like this very much because she was taking "my time," and I didn't think that was fair to me. Mama explained to me that there would be many times in life that things wouldn't be fair and that sometimes we have to put other feelings first. To this day, I remember those words. I'm not as good at it as my mom was, and still is, but I try to practice this in my life.

As I was entering the fifth grade, they began sending black teachers into my elementary school. In the few weeks before the school term began, a neighbor talked badly about this particular teacher I was going to have because she was a negro. (Yes I'm old - very old terminology.)

He talked a lot, and I listened, and by the time I began school I was scared of this woman, who I'd never met. A few weeks later when I came in from school, mama asked me about my teacher who had asked the principal to remove me from her room because she was afraid I wouldn't learn from her. In the end, mama told me that the only difference between her and other teachers was the color of her skin and that it was okay for me to like her. My response was, "Good, because she's really nice."

Mrs. Colvin became one of my favorite teachers. My mom sewed for her, and I learned more from her than what was in my schoolbooks. Between her and my mom I began to look beyond the surface and to see a person for who they are.

These are just two important lessions I learned from mom. Don't ever think your children don't listen to you because they do, no matter what age they are. They listen to the good and the bad. Just hope the good stuff sticks; I think it did with me.

Wanna-be Bosses

Several things have been bothering me this week. One is a pet peeve of mine and has been since I began working at age 16. Why don't people just do the job they're employed to do?

Some people are hired to do a certain job, but eventually begin to think they are boss. They can't even do their jobs because they are so busy sticking their noses into other employee's business.

Last week, I was asked by my "boss" to go somewhere for work, and when another employee saw me there, all she was concerned with was why I was there and if I'd taken care of business before I left town. I always take care of my responsibilities and do my job, and I certainly wouldn't have been there if I hadn't been told to go.

She is one of those people who wants to be the big boss and is frustrated because she doe'snt have the position she thinks she should. In her mind, she is more important than she actually is. However, this person doesn't seem to be able to answer her phone or return a call.

And while I know this about her, it still bothers me. Why? Mostly because I don't like to be questioned, especially by someone who is not my "boss." So, here is my message wanna-be boss, please stop. You are not impressing anyone and are only making enemies. Just do your job and let others do theirs. If you actually do your job then maybe you'll deserve your paycheck.

I guess I'm venting a little, but don't worry, I'll only voice one pet peeve at a time.

A Road Less Traveled

At the ripe ol' age of 30, I decided to finish my college education and enrolled at The University of Alabama. This non-traditional student decided that instead of taking the easy route in fulfilling my foreign language requirement that I would take the road less traveled. Then again, this isn't unusual because I'm not known to take the "normal" route in life.

The language I chose was Russian, and after fulfilling my requirement, I decided to minor in this language. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

Russian is a difficult languge to learn. I wasn't the best or most fluent, but I truly loved those classes. It showed me that I can do anything I really want to do. I dove into it and even spent time with the Russian students at the University. This was a true learning experience.

Most often we hear about the hard side of Russian personalities. They do typically have a more difficult life than we do in the United States, however, they are very generous and unselfish people. These students couldn't believe how many choices we have in grocery stores, etc. And I was humbled when I found out how disappointed they were in our Christmas celebration.

They thought because of all the decorations and presents being purchased it would be a huge celebration of family. After all, they do this in Russia with much less commercialism. For them Christmas is about family and reminiscing.

Another thing that surprised me is how giving they are. If you visited their home, and they only had one potato left, they'd insist you eat it. Also, never refuse a gift. They give from their heart and are insulted if you don't receive.

I almost went to Russia on the exchange student program but something told me not to go. In the end, it was also the best decision for me, but I've never forgotten those students or the professors who taught me.

Sometimes lessons in life can come from some of the most unusual places and people. Through this minor, I learned people are not always what they seem and to keep an open mind about people with different backgrounds from mine.

After all, we can always learn from each other. To my old Russian friends I say thank you.

Confessions of a journalist

I have a confession to make: I don't like Oprah. I realize this puts me in a small minority, and I probably just made a lot of people angry. The fact is I don't buy into her "image."

According to her bio she started as a journalist. I won't even get into a "journalist" who not only names her magazine after herself but also puts her image on the front of it each month. A real journalist wouldn't do that, nor do they believe in self-promotion.

Anytime she does something "good" for others or has big giveaways on her show, she promotes up to and after the event. If Oprah is truly doing this to benefit others, and from her heart, why does she feel the need to boast about. It all comes down to the bottom line. Most of the giveaways are paid for by the advertisers or manufacturers providing the products. The network is making mega bucks, which means Oprah is making even more money. This means that Oprah is happy because this not only boosts her substantial income, but also, her image. Good ol' Oprah.

If she really wants to help others, she should let go of some money and help those who truly need it. Then don't brag about it. Just do it and feel good about doing something wonderful, not something to make you look good in others eyes.

Bragging has always been a pet peeve of mine. I hate it when people boast about what they've done. Some of my colleagues do this and it irritates me. If you're doing your job as you should then the powers to be know, and you shouldn't have to bring it to their attention. I mean truly, I don't care and don't want to hear about it. Sorry, I digressed.

For those of you who are thinking of all the good Oprah has done and want to blast me, don't waste your time. Yes, I'm a smartass and opinionated but this is how I truly feel and think. I just don't like Oprah or her lack of ethics.

Believe me, Oprah doesn't care what I think. After all, I'm one person in a sea of thousands who do buy into her image. And with that said, the sun with still rise tomorrow ...

"Let It Be"

I've changed the title of my blog several times because I just can't get it right. There are many things in life like that; we just don't get it at first. It might take a while. Maybe my title will stay the same, and maybe it will evolved into something else. I've never been a stagment person who keeps things the same. I change too often for some people ... I actually like change. Unfortunately, most people want me to stay as I am, either personally or professionally. This drives me crazy.

Why can't we see that we're all different. We're not all a bunch of stepford clones put here to robotitize through life. For example, I have a friend who believes in group therapy. I don't even get into one-on-one therapy, but I don't criticize her for what works for her.

Now, why did I bring this up? Because I truly believe life is what we make of it and it's different for everyone. I can't choose how Mary Sue runs her life or how she makes life choices. I can only do that for myself. If therapy works for her, then so be it. If she wants to run down the road naked, then so be it. She might get arrested but that's the risk "she chooses" to take.

So, all you self-appointed, richteous people, who think you have all the answers, take a chill pill. We all have different components that make us who we are. As the Beatles sang, "Let It Be."

Temporary husband

Continued ... So we were all herded off the faulty plane and told to make reservations for another flight. I stood in a very long line for what seemed like eternity. They were helping me and another guy at the same time, and we were put on a flight on another airline. And since we only had a few minutes to make it, took off running for the terminal.

Unfortunately, we were in such a hurry that I didn't look at the voucher before checking in. It was then I found out I had a husband, and we were reserved as Donna and Tom Pierce.

I was going to tell them the names were not right but then an angel popped on one shoulder and a devil on the other. The angel said to do the right thing, have the reservation corrected and take the chance on missing a flight out that day. The devil said I was in control and should take the easy way out. After all, what did difference did a name make? Then Tom told me tomorrow was his daughter's birthday and he had to get home, so being the nice person I am, decided I should help him out. However, I also told him that if something happened to the plane his name wouldn't be correct on the passenger list. I guess the previous faulty plane was still in his mind, he went white and I realized once again my realism needed to be shushed.

So we checked in and he stuck to me like glue. The flight attendants called him Mr. Pierce and he acted like such. During the layover in Charlotte, he stood outside the restroom and waited for me, ate with me and sat with me while waiting to board. I decided to take a break from him and called my then fiance/now husband and told him I was temporarily married. He laughed and said "I'm supposed to be surprise? Something strange always happens to you when you travel." Realistically, he was right.

After landing in Birmingham, my temporary husband took off to catch a fight to Minnesota, and I took off to baggage claim. That was the end to my temporary marriage, and what I learned from this was, realistically, no one was hurt.

Realism (in my mind anyway)

Even when I was young, I was a realistic person. I don't see situations through rose-colored glasses, instead I see them as they are in my mind. A prime example of this occured about 13 years ago when I was working as a writer for a magazine and traveling a great deal.

I was flying out of Orlando with a layover in Charlotte and then on to Birmingham. My initial flight was an hour late leaving Orlando due to a technical problem with the plane. Finally, we boarded and were one hour into the flight when it was announced we were returning to Orlando instead of continuing to Charlotte. It was a two hour flight, and at the halfway point, they were turning us around. It was the same distance to Charlotte why turn us around?

This bounced around in my head for a few seconds and then it hit me: Charlotte doesn't want us. I turned to the nicely dressed businessman beside me and said, "You do know there's a problem with the plane?" He asked me what I meant. I explained. He panicked and then others panicked, and the flight attendant looked like she could strangle me. In my realistic mind, it was a fact and didn't upset me so why not tell others. What I didn't take into account was that most others don't think as I do.

Needless to say, when we landed there were firetrucks and rescue units waiting. We landed safely but it was an eye-opening experience to me. Not everyone is realistic and I shouldn't impose my realism on others.

They booked us on other flights, and I ended up being temporarily married, but that's a story for another time.

Beginnings

We have many beginnings in life.   One path closes and it's up to us to open another door and step through. I believe the beginning that led to my purpose in life happened nine years ago when I married for the first time and became a mother.  I've learned a lot from my daugher and believe that my relationship with her has led to the person I am today.

Before Lauren, my life was all about me and had been for 42 years.  At times, it was difficult to let my selfishness go and put her first, however, I always tried to consider her feelings by letting her feel included.  It wasn't just me and her dad; it was us as a family.  When I look back on the past few years, I believe I've learned more from her than any educational, work or life experiences I've had. 

She isn't perfect but then none of us are.  There have been many trials along the way, but I'm very proud of how she's handled them and admire the person she has become. People are often surprised at how close we are, and I guess that's because "steps" aren't supposed to have close relationships.

Lauren has become a beautiful, intelligent, funny and delightful 23-year-old woman, and I'm thrilled to be part of her life.  She is truly someone I look up to.

Work in Progress

As my title states, this is a work in progress.  I'm still designing page, etc.  I'm here because my friend, Daria, has encouraged me to do so.  Right now, I need her exceptional design skills.  Cross your fingers ...