Unspoken heroes

Several years ago, I had the privilege of working with some great people while employed as a dispatcher with Montgomery Fire. I'm sure some things have changed since I was there, but one thing stays constant. Firemen and medics would not know where to go, and you as citizens would not get the help needed, if not for dispatchers.

Dispatchers are the link to people and rarely get the praise they deserve. They take 911 calls that are often from people who are hysterical or don't know where they are. They talk people through emergencies, learn codes and procedures, dispatch units and so much more. These are things your average person doesn't know. I didn't until I took a job that can be satisfying and sometimes humbling.

I found myself worrying about the firemen and medics, wanting them to be safe. I never wanted to call a death over the radio ... never. Dispatchers are under the stress of getting the calls right, dispatching the right units and all the other responsibilities they have. Everyone remembers the fire fighters, and they should, but you should also remember your dispatchers.

Dispatchers are unspoken heroes, and although I no longer work with them, I'll never forget them or what they do for our city. Thank you for serving us.

One of God's gifts

God gives us many gifts, but one I tend to take for granted is our beautiful landscape. I'd never behold that beauty if it weren't for God.

On Tuesdays, I have a two-hour drive home after a very long day, which I admit I've complained about often. However, as I drove home today, I looked at the beauty around me and kicked myself for not having my camera.

I was driving from Lake Wedowee on Alabama 48 and then on Alabama 9 and was surrounded by trees with leaves that were amazing Autumn colors of gold, rust, orange and red. There are no words to describe these gorgous colors in the background along the lake. It was literally breathtaking.

Instead of complaining to myself I began to truly appreciate this gift. Alabama is a beautiful state, and I'm proud to be a native. We don't have to travel north to watch the leaves change, all we have to do is look around us everyday.

I thank God for this precious gift and blessing and will try to appreciate more of the gifts he bestows upon us. Despite the long day I had, the drive home made it worthwhile.

Are you cool? LOL

A month ago, I ran into a teenager I know who was hanging out with her friends. I could tell something was bothering her. We talked for a few minutes and finally told me she didn't really like her friend's plans for the evening. She felt uncomfortable. I asked, "Then why go?" She answered, "Because they're cool and then everyone will be happy. Whenever I speak up they get mad."

There has been a lot of water flow under my bridge since I was a teenager, but I can remember how she feels. I told her to never do anything she was uncomfortable with and there were other friends out there.

I saw this same girl a few days ago. She was smiling and happy and "hanging out" with a new group of friends. I found out she did speak up and her friends alienated her. She became friends with this new group who did take into consideration her feelings and thoughts. "I'm so much happier," she said.

I'm not writing this for people to pat me on the back. I'm just tuned into people and can read them pretty well. But I do listen to people and am amazed that there are even adults who go along with the crowd and others who lead the crowd. So high school, right?

What matters in the end is if we as individuals are happy. If you're happy going along with the crowd and letting someone lead you around then so be it. I've never been good at that or kissing up. I'm pretty much just me. I'm just asking that we all look at our actions and remember sometimes we need to speak up or stay away. Whether you realize it or not most young people follow the actions of the adults in their lives. Be a good influence.

I admire this girl. She's 17 and could have given into peer pressure but didn't. She's being herself and is happy. Shouldn't we all be that way?

Change Me? I don't think so !

Throughout my life people have tried to change me, and at times, I have tried to change to make other people happy. When I reached 40 I decided I was going to be myself because that's when I'm happiest.

So I am who I am. I love making new friends and believe you can learn from people in your life. But if you don't like me then so be it. It really doesn't matter because the sun will still rise tomorrow. I say this because even recently, at this stage in life, I had friends who wanted me to react and be like them. Sorry, I'm not.

This is what I am. I'm truthful, loyal, compassionate, a good friend and I will stay out of your business if you stay out of mine. The things that are important to me may be boring to most. My faith in God, family (including animals) and friends come first, then writing, photography and Alabama football.

When I lay my head down at night I know I'm a good person including being a good wife and mother. I do not stab people in the back. I'm not two-faced; if I don't like you, you know it. But above all else, I am who I am. You will never change me so don't even try.

I don't want to be like everyone else; I just want to be me.

Where is your heart?

I ask myself this everytime I watch the movie, "The Blind Side." The first time I watched it was because it was about football (of course), loved the actors in it, and of course, Nick Saban had a bit part. But why do I keep going back to it?

I do because of the message there. It's really a lot like the move and book, "To Kill A Mockingbird." There's so much to learn ... if you pay attention. So I sit here tonight watching it again and asking myself, where is my heart?

Would I help the young, black man or turn my back because it would be easier? Would I trust him with my daughter and belongings? If I did help him would I be doing it for the right reasons? Even if I were blessed financially like this couple would I be selfless enough to spend my money and time on someone everyone else has given up on?

Lots of questions there, and I'm the first to admit I don't have all the answers. I think you'd have to be in the situation to "truly" know what you'd do. But I do know the following about me: I'm compassionate, have a great love for young adults and teenagers and I have this instinct to help people. The main drawback is the funds. Oh, well ... but sometimes you can do more with less.

I'm going to share a dream I've had since I was about thirty. If I could I'd have a halfway house for teenagers/young adults who are out on the streets. They'd finish school, eventually become employed, follow their dreams, kick whatever habits they had and learn how to deal with the actions that placed them on the streets. It sounds like a huge dream and basically impossible. Is it?

That's from my heart ... so when you see anyone on the streets realize it could be you or your child. Don't ever think you are above such a horrible situation. And when you can ... help someone.

So here is the question again, where is your heart?

My BFF ... Oh, Susan ...

There are many special people in the world, and my friend Susan,is one who is near and dear to my heart. I was feeling lost in an area I hadn't worked before and she taught me a lot. What started as a working buddy has now become a special friendship, and she is truly one of my best friends.

With that said we have a lot in common. We share the same wedding anniversary; are the same age; hold the same position at work; she's from Cottonwood and I'm from Cottondale; her daughter is Laurie and mine is Lauren. Our mindsets are much alike and we both have a "look" we give that can make people get out of our way.

We both are compassionate and kind people, but we differ in that she'll let things roll off her back much easier than me. Susan won't let anyone run over her, but she'll try to overlook the "stupidity" of her friends, where I'll just call them out.

I'm dedicating this blog to my dear friend, who is also the "Margarita Queen." She celebrated her birthday a few weeks ago. On the weekend after her birthday she had a party. Many of her friends came and boy did she have a good time. It was wonderful seeing her enjoy herself so much, and I admire her for the fun spirit she possesses.

It has taken me a few weeks to get my thoughts together on this subject. I'm writing this because I think that sometimes special people need to be recognized. This is her time and I'm officially extending her birthday into August. Now her husband just needs to buy her another birthday present. Go David!

Happy Birthday again

to my best friend!

Where is my lollipop?

Don't you love new technology ... especially in the medical field. Tests today can detect so much more than when I was young. I'm appreciative of that and want you to know this is not a jab at my friends who work in the medical profession. However, I do have concerns about one particular machine.

Today I had an MRI because I've been having horrible headaches. As the tech prepared me for the test I as thinking claustrophobia would get to me, and I wouldn't be able to finish the test. I really did okay with that but what did bother me was the awful noise from the machine. Who makes these things? I had earplugs but the noise penetrated. Between the noise and the vibration from the machine, I just about went bonkers.

I kept trying to go to a happy place in my mind but couldn't find one. (This is a topic for another blog) It just seemed to get louder and louder. After the first part of the test they slid me out to put an IV in. I had this helmet thing on, earplugs in and had to lie still while they put the IV in. I started bleeding heavy from the stick, and when I finally realized they were asking me if I was on blood thinners, I answered, "No, but I drink a lot of water." My answer had to be very loud because I couldn't hear my voice because of the earplugs. I'm sure I was yelling, and I can tell you that they were laughing their asses off.

We finished the test and after everything is unhooked and the helmet is off my head was really throbbing. I looked at one of the techs and asked, "Don't I get a lollipop?"

He laughed and said when I started bleeding they got nervous and ate them all. In the end I have two questions: (a) Why can't these machines be quieter? and, (b) I was a good girl so where is my damn lollipop?"

The prisoner who knew himself too well...

I've always wanted to serve on ajury but was often not chosen because I was a reporter. For some reason, the attornies found it amusing that I was actually there and one judge asked me to leave. I argued with the judge that it was my constitutional right to serve on a jury but it was my beat and I wasn't chosen.

A few years ago, I received a jury summons and was so excited. I'm in a different profession and no one could ask me to leave. They told us there were several cases, including a murder case. I was pumped. And I was chosen.

Then the bad news came. I wasn't on the murder case. I was serving on a jury for a trial that was much more desturbing. I refer to this as The Trial of the Masturbating Inmate." Yes, I was serving on this jury. And in case you don't know it's against an Alabama prison code for inmates to know themselves this well.

We viewed tapes, heard other inmates testify that they witnessed him doing this quite often, and to top it off, the inmate represented himself. It was his right to do so. I listened to him butcher the English language and try to convince us the reason he was arrested for this offense was because the guards didn't like him.

What actually came out was that he had a thing for one of the guards and was caught making himself happy in the storage room. He was supposed to be helping stock supplies in there when he caught sight of this guard and was caught "in the act." I promise this is public knowledge, and if you wish, you can read the court records. My name will be listed as a juror. I'm so proud.

After sitting through the testimony and the evidence all day I was ready to stand up and scream, "They all do it. He was just stupid enough to get caught!" In the end, he was guilty, and I was released from the agony of hearing about his personal activity.

When I hear of other trials in the news, this often pops in my head and I start laughing. I'm one who will always be in favor of the justice system regardless of the outcome and definitely believe in constitutional rights. This is not the trial I would have chosen to serve on but as time has passed I'm okay with that. After all, I learned all about a prison code I knew nothing about, and life is all about learning. Right?

I'm just an old dinosaur!

There is one thing I know for sure: I'm a former journalist that would be referred to in this day and time as a dinosaur. I'm old school. I believe in the First Amendment to the Consitution, also known as the Bill of Rights, but don't think it should be used to excuse bad behavior.

Everyone has their right to their opinion of the First Amendment. Mine (in a nutshell) is that as long as I'm not defaming, using obscenity or hurting anyone then I'm entitled to express my feelings.

A few days ago, I was asked to delete a post I'd made to a friend's post on FB. That post wasn't ugly in anyway; just my sarcastic wit. This request was passed through two other people, and when I found out he put friends in the middle of his high school and immature ways, it really pissed me off. If he felt that strongly about have it he should have asked me himself, but that would be the adult way.

I did take the post off and unfriended that person. In the future, I'm going to only post to people who don't take life, or themselves, so seriously.

I am who I am and have the "right" to express myself. Now, my page will remain a place where a person can say what they feel as long as no one is defamed or hurt. No one has to agree with how I feel, but my page will be respected for what it is ... a place to be yourself and listen to the opinions of an old dinosaur.

Sometimes it only takes a smile ...

This evening I did what I do every Friday. I went to the grocery store. My heel was throbbing and I was hot and tired. As I walked through the store, I was inwardly grumbling about the price of groceries.

When I finished, I placed all my groceries on the conveyor belt and there was Reggie. He stood there smiling that big goofy smile like he does every week and said, "Hi, Miss Donna, how are you?" I found myself smiling back and saying, "I'm fine, Reggie, how are you?" Reggie's speach is always stilted, and he always asks if I have everything I need. You don't have to talk to Reggie for long to figure out he's mentally challenged. However, Reggie has one of the best attitude's I've ever been around. He takes great pride in his job as he carefully places each piece in the bags and places the bags in the shopping cart. He will never take a tip and always says, "This is my job.

Reggie is a gem and I wonder what it's like in his mind. I'm sure it's far less complicated than mine. What I do know is that he blesses me, just by being himself. I need to have more of Reggie's attitude in everyday life and is something I need to work on.

In the meantime, I pray God blesses Reggie's life abundantly, as Reggie does mine. I look forward to seeing that big smile again next week ... and the week after ...

What happened to common sense?

I asked myself that question yesterday when I heard the verdict of "Not Guilty" repeated time after time. Casey Anthony was going to be free to walk this earth, continue with her life and probably gain from her child's death in a monetary way. But then money is the root of all evil. Right?

In the beginning, I didn't want to believe that Casey would kill her child. How could a mother do that? But as time went on I knew in my gut she did. I could tell by her behavior and body language. Is that proof? No. It's listening to your inner self and using common sense ... this is something those 12 jurors lacked. I understand they didn't have all the media information we did, but Linda Drane Burdick tied it all up for them. Didn't they see her sitting there showing no emotion for her child? Didn't they hear the 911 tape of Cindy Anthony and read George's suicide note? Didn't they see the pictures depicting her behavior in the 31 days she was missing ... Casey's beautiful life.

And how could a mother kill her child, whether accidentally or on purpose, and then dump her body in a swamp for animals to feed off? That's one of the most inhumane acts I've ever heard.

In the end, it doesn't matter what I think. They didn't ask my opinion ... but you all know I've got a huge mouth and just have to put this out there. I don't get it, but I'm also not the one who has to face God one day and answer for this. I'm not quoting this directly but there is a Bible verse when Jesus said don't hurt one of my children for they are children of God. If you harm them you may as well have a millstone wrapped around your neck and thrown in the river.

One thing I do know is that Caylee is with the angles and is happy. And while I feel like her death was in vain ... maybe it'll help us all realize how precious life is. One day Casey will be judged ... millstones are awfully heavy.

What color is your skin?

So, what color is your skin? I'd classify myself as white, but my big question is when it comes to skin products, does it really matter?

A few months ago, I was looking for a new facial cleanser. I've had problems with cleansers because I have Rosacia and most cleansers (despite their claims) tend to aggravate it.

A few months ago, I stopped at a drug store while out-of-town and looked for a new one. I picked up one that had a great smell and decided to try it. After all, the others hadn't helped my skin.

Finally, I was running out and tried to find the same product in my area but couldn't. I did a computer search and found out that the product I'd been using was designed for "Women of Color." I thought about this for about two minutes and decided that it didn't matter. My skin was much better, and I was determined to find the product.

I began to think ... I originally found the product in an area where many "Women of Color" reside. I found it on Amazon but was determined to find it in town. I finally found it in an area I rarley shop in. The "Women of Color" who were working there may have wondered why a "white" woman was purchasing this product, but hey, it was a sale for them.

Vanity wore out. I was determined to use the product that works and didn't care where I had to shop. So here is my question: Does it matter what the color of our skin is when shopping for skin products? Going by my experience, again, I'd say no.

I'm not sure the manufacturers of these products tell the truth. When it comes to skin care does color really matter in determining what product you use? All I can tell you is that I, who would be considered a white woman, is using a product for "Women of Color" and it's working. My skin is brigher, reness has resided and my dark spots have faded. That's a win-win for me.

So, what is your skin color? Does it matter that you use a product for your skin color or would vanity win out? When you think about it this may apply to all areas of life. Does skin color really matter?

Mr. Greedy Pants

We all know how horrible greed can be yet it's still ever present in our lives. I'm not a greedy person. This is why I'll never be wealthy ... at least not monitarily. I am wealthy in other ways and am glad that at heart I'm a good person.

Yet as opposed as I am to it this bad quality Mr. Greedy Pants keeps popping up in my life. And while I'm not a monitarily greedy person, I don't like it when others try to take advantage of me financially and upset my happy ship. Sometimes it can be stopped and sometimes I'm at the mercy of others. If I'm at your mercy then you know who I'm talking to, and if I'm not, just be glad.

I truly do not like it when people take what is mine without my permission ... all for money, hence greed. I was in denial for a little while but now I've had all I can take. I feel like my back is against the wall and I'm just plain mad
.
This has been happening to me for a while ... and it all boils down to this one characteristic that many insist on having in their lives. As people, can we not take fellow humans into consideration when making decisions that affect their lives? For the most part, people in general do not.

Now this liberal democrat is ready to fight back. If the people who are inflicting their greed upon me are reading this they may be wondering about my motive behind this blog. The only motive I have to to get the elephant off my back and find that one thing that will make me happy again.

So the big question is what is the one thing that will make me happy right now. Well, Mr. Greedy Pants, you will find out. As my late daddy used to say, "It'll all come out in the wash. Just make sure you cleaned out your pockets."

Roll Tide T-Town

Devestation. It's a powerful word and what may be devestating to one person may not be to the next. The tornadoes that ripped through our state this week were truly devestating.

A few years ago, Hurrican Katrina was devestating. I thought I identified with the people there and felt their pain. I helped as best I could. I can tell you for sure that I truly did not feel their pain, but now I can identify.

I may no longer live in the Tuscaloosa area but my family and friends do. The Crimson Tide blood runs deep through my veins, and it's still "home" to me. Being from there embodies who I am. The pictures on TV do not truly identify the pain and destruction there. The surrealness of it all and the pain comes when you see it firsthand. That is heartbreaking. My heart truly goes out to the people affected by the horrific force of nature ... in all cities it affected, large and small.

Again, I'm helping as I can. Thursday night as I was shopping I would ask myself if I really needed that, thinking about an extra few dollars that might help more. What I'm doing is a drop in the bucket as to what is needed. But if many give a drop then the bucket may be full, or at least close to it.

People of Tuscaloosa, Cullman, Birmingham, Eclectic, Arab, Phil Campbell, Cordova and all the other cities I haven't mentioned I pray for you. One thing I saw that was so encouraging were strangers helping strangers and friends helping friends. Everyone working together for the survival of others. I'm most proud of that.

If you can't help monetarily or physically then help with your prayers. The people of Alabama will survive this and for those in Tuscaloosa I send a big "Roll Tide!" to you.

My fine furry friend

My dog Scruffy is definitely my best friend. He's always here for me, greets me at the door with doggie kisses and listens to all my problems and gossip. I'm just glad he can't talk.

I've had a lot on my mind lately with repairs around the home. Our truck and my daughter's car need major repairs. We won't even get into my laptop or how an oil change almost ruined the engine in my car. The good news is that Lauren has a laptop we are sharing and my engine is okay.

So when I need to talk something out, I go to Scruff. He's a captive audience and actually acts like he's listening and cares. He even likes to cuddle and snuggle. Scruffy and I have come to the conclusion that I'm worrying too much about it and need to relax for a while. So we're watching "Michael," because it's one of our favorites.

There are some people who don't understand my attachment to my pets. One thing I want to say is that pets don't let you down, don't criticize, love you regardless and are always loyal. I think this makes for an excellent friend. BTW, Scruff and Lucy say hello. :)

Too Much Pride

As the country song says, "How much pride is too much pride?" For me, pride and integrity is about all I have left in life. That's a 50/50 shot to happiness. If I lose one of those characteristics then I'm definitely on a downslide. What I do know is that I have enough pride for me and several others. This I admit to.

I'm not going to let anyone mistreat me and I'm definitely not going to listen to them put me, my family or friends down. If I have to I'll just stay away from them. Some might see this as letting the person win, but to me, it's staying in control of the situation. If I'm not around these people then I don't have to listen to their trash talk, and therefore, won't open my mouth to put them in their place and cause further problems. After all, I do have a big mouth and have been known to open it upon occasion.

Over the past few months, I've been in one of these situations where someone I know through a friend of mine has insulted me several times. I've put up with it thinking it would get old to this person and go away. It hasn't so I've decided to stay away. If my friend chooses to spend time with this rude person that's her/his choice. It's that person's choice to be rude and it's my choice to stay away.

In my own way I'm standing up for myself. I'm letting go of a smear of my pride for my friend. I know the rude person could not withstand being annhiliated by my mouth. One day, his/her true self with come out and this will cause unnecessary hurt. There is only so much I can do to protect people who can't see the truth ... so for now I'll stay away.

My friend who is in the middle of this is a very good friend and is trying to make the best of a potentially bad situation. I'm pretty sure the rude person will read this. If you are, don't hurt my friend because then my big mouth will open, and, oh my, that smear of pride will kick in and that would be a hot mess.

Truly Unselfish

Very seldom do we know a "truly" unselfish person. Fortunately for me, I do ... my daughter. She always thinks of others first but manages to stand up for herself. I'm very proud of her for this characteristic.

One true act of unselfishness is to let go of someone you love. In the last three years she has had to let go of several people in her life, including her biological mother. This time Lauren had to let go of a pet. A few days ago, she found a stray pug who had recently given birth. She brought it home, and we spent the evening looking for it's owners. After a few days we gave up and Pugsley became ours. (She chose the name Pugsley because she is a pug and our last name is Adams. "The Addams Family" (snap-snap)

We took her to the vet and tried to make her become one with our two Jack Russells. In the end, our house wasn't the ideal home for Pugsley. Lauren had grown to love her, but two other territorial dogs and Lauren's allergies didn't mesh. She struggled but after some tears decided that Pugsley should go live with a friend.

Pugsley immediately took to her new owners and Lauren has visitation rights. Some may wonder why this is a big deal. It is because a 23-year-old girl made a very adult decision, and it was the right one. It amazes me how someone of her age, who has lost so much, can be so unselfish and considerate.

This is true character.

The Quiet Ones

Several years ago, an elderly lady in the church I attended told me, "It's you quiet ones that I pray for the most because you are often overlooked." At the time, I was taken aback and not sure of her meaning, but as years passed I understood it well.

It may surprise some of you that I'm a quiet one but it's true. I'm quiet by nature, but I'm very observant. Whether out for the night or in a meeting, I can tell you what everyone has done or who they've talked to, etc. One thing I learned when I was about 30 is that I could be quiet and let life pass me by or I could speak up and be part of. Of course, being the odd ball that I am, I pick and choose.

Another thing about quiet ones is that we are usually smart but don't let people know. We also tend to trust the least, and when we are betrayed we probably hurt more than your average person. If you're my friend I'm in your corner. If do me wrong it's hard for me to forget.

Quiet ones usually are overlooked because it appears as if things don't bother us. I think that's why the lady in my church said we need the most prayer. We need to be thought of and want to be thought of, but because of our nature people tend to think we want to be left alone

I've learned over the years when I need to speak up for myself. When I meet someone who is quiet I sympathize. I know what it feels like to have the fear of speaking up. But it should also be known that there is a peace with being quiet. We are typically loners, self-sufficient and most often are content with ourselves.

Some quiet ones may never come our of our shell. We all are who we are and should be comfortable in our own skin. If you meet someone quiet it doesn't mean they don't want to be your fiend so reach out to them. You may find them to be one of the best friends you've ever had.

It really is a word ...

There is a word I think more people should learn. The word is NO and is defined in the dictionary as: Opposed to yes, not, not any, not at all. I used to have a problem with using this word, but as I got older, not so much.

If there is something I truly do not want to do or do not feel comfortable with, I'm going to say no. I hear no everyday and haven't died yet. I hear it from my customers, friends and family. The sun will still rise tomorrow.

If someone asks you to do something you really do not want to do why say yes. You'll only be uncomfortable and you'll get nothing out of it. If the person who asks is a true friend they will understand.

Unfortunately for people who know me, I don't have a problem with the word. I'm just not going to be put in a position I don't want to be in. It's not worth what you go through.

Recently, someone I know was telling me of a situation she is in. She deep down knows she shouldn't do this but probably will. She will also probably regret it. Can I stop it? No. Not my job. It's her job to say no.

Mostly, we are afraid to say no because it might hurt someone's feelings or they may get mad. If the person feels this way, does it really matter? Is this relationship truly beneficial to you?

The good news is after you say no a few times it rolls off your tongue more easily. People get used to hearing you say it and don't react as negatively. Say do what you as a person want to do.

The word no won't hurt you. It may actually make you stronger.

Two and a Half?

It has been my belief for the past few years that most men dream of having a life like Charlie on "Two and a Half Men." Personally, I think the show is hilarious. One brother is a womanizing boozer, who write jingles for a living, and spends his spare time spleeping and sexing women. The other brother is a bumbling insecure man whose financial status sucks, and he has a smartmouth, dumb son who plays off the brother's characters beautifully.

The writing for the show is wonderful. It's smart, witty and crosses the barriers of many politically incorrect situations and comments. How often does this happen with successful TV shows?

But alas, trouble comes to the show in the form of the main character, Charlie Sheen. Personally, he can't keep from creating public scrutiny and is now stupidly criticizing those he pays him well. Okay, he makes how much money and wants to throw that all away?

I do hate the show is on the downslide because I think it has crossed so many lines and stayed alive. It's one of those politically incorrect shows that I can't help but enjoy in the privacy of my home because it makes me laugh.

What's my point? I don't really have one but then I'm talking about a show that doesn't really have a point. I hate it's been cancelled, and hopefully it'll all work out so we'll continue to be entertained. But even so, will it ever be the same?

Now, if I'm telling the truth, my favorite charcter on the show is the maid, Berta. She's bossy, sarcastic, works very little but gets free food and good pay. Sounds good to me.

Wait, I do have a point. While the characters of Charlie and Berta seem wonderful on the surface on a deeper level they aren't. What looks good isn't always as it seems, and as the old saying goes, "The grass is always greener on the other side." Maybe my side of the fence isn't so bad after all. :)

Should I be a tree?

I have a job that takes me into the public daily and "allows" me to be around all types of people. I've had the following subject on my mind for a few weeks but decided I should keep my huge mouth shut until things died down.

One of the people I'm "allowed" to deal with is in Auburn and prides himself on being, "the biggest asshole in Auburn." His words not mine. I really find a great deal of humor in him. Last week, he asked if I knew the man who poisoned the tree at Toomer's Corner. I told him no, and he proceeded to tell me that the man was "one of my people." I told him I didn't know the man and that he wasn't "my people." He told me yes he is because he's an Alabama fan. This was a new realization to me. Am I responsible for the behavior of all Alabama fans? No.

This week, the same person accused me of paying this man to poison the tree. I laughed and told him I had better things to do with my money. I know what this person is about and that he was trying to get the best of me. He didn't.

However, he is not the only Auburnite who isn't thinking rationally about this. I understand it was an old tree, and it's a tradition to roll it. I'm sorry and hopefully it'll be okay. But stop and think about the hell this tree has been through. Drunken people have pissed on it, and I won't even get into other things that might happened on and/or around this tree. I also think it's been insulted by all the toilet paper it has endured.

I mean what does this tell the tree about it's worth? ... Oh, that's right, it's not a person so it doesn't have feelings ... unless it's poisoned. Joking Auburnites, I hope you get to keep up your tradition. I get a big kick out of seeing the toilet paper flowing in the wind as I drive by. And I do realize that all Auburn fans are not like this person I'm "allowed" to deal with.

What I'm trying to say is you can't judge all Alabama fans by one man who obviously has problems. Do you Auburnites want me to judge you by the proclaimed asshold in Auburn? I think not.

(segway) This brings me back to my job and the people I'm "allowed" to be around. Today, I was in a store in Montgomery, and a lady who came in became very irate with the manager. All I could think was I hope she doesn't have a gun because I really don't want to die counting candy bars, chips and cookies for credits. I think I'd rather be a tree ... Barbara Walters, come on down.

Political Aspirations?

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who dreamed of becoming the mayor of a small town ... scratch that.

The real story is once upon a time, Joe and Betty Pierce had a daughter who was a dreamer and idealist. Then she grew up and came to realize the world is just that, the world and people are who they are. I can't change people's thought processes, but I can still stand up for what's right and/or wrong.

A few days ago, I posted that I was contemplating moving to Wetumpka and running for mayor. Truth is I love that town and could see myself living there, but I would move there just to run for mayor. That would be stupid, and while I may not be the brightest bulb in the box, I try not to make too many stupid decisions.

While the political situation in this city distrubs me, it's not the only political administration that is dysfunctional. It's a shame because the people who live in these cities deserve better.

And speaking of politics, the people most definitely DO have a right to know. Public office was founded on this principal. I get so tired of hearing candidates state how they will serve the people and keep them informed. For some reason after they are elected, this theory often goes out the window, and all of a sudden the public, "shouldn't know everyting." As a reporter I heard that often and it sickens me.

Politicians read your consitution and amendments. Do you know or understand them? Do you realize that servig the people is more than getting paid and that you are there to serve the people?

Those serving on city, county, state or United States administrations, listen up, the people DO have a right to know. That is what serving in this country is supposed to be about. So those of you considering running for office please remember the real purpose of political office ... the people.

Friend, love or not

Friend or not; lover or not. This question pops up way too often in life. Now that Valentine's Day is over, and the rose-colored glasses are off, let's be honest. If you have to question it, it probably isn't there. This applies to our love lives and frienships.

Since Friday, I've talked to two female friends who just can't figure out if their boyfriends love them. One, her boyfriend did the "fall off the face of the earth" thing. You know he was there, very prominent in her life for months and all of a sudden he was gone. After several weeks of being invisibile, on Friday he called. Did she want to go out for Valentine's Day. Sad thing is she was actually considering it.

For all men and women who are reading this, don't use people and don't be rude and inconsiderate. If you want to end the relationship, be honest and end it. If you need time away, say it. Just don't leave people hanging.

And those on the receiving end, if they are honest appreciate it. It may not be the end result you want, but it's better to know now, whether it's a friend or lover.

Everyone, we only have one life to live. Appreciate your friends and lovers. Be nice.

Inspirational People

Throughout life we meet many people who inspire us in different ways. About 13 years ago, I met a young woman named Daria, who worked at the same publishing company.

Daria was a constant inspiration to me because of her positive, upbeat attitude and her constant smile. She often spent breaks in my office chatting. Although she may not have known it, when I was having a stressful day her smile often made me feel better. Everyone loved Daria because of her attitidue and personality.

Many years later, Daria is still the same. She popped up again in my life on Facebook and her posts and thoughts always brighten my day. Daria lost her mother to cancer, and last year ran in a marathon that benefits the American Cancern Society. She far exceeded her goal, which isn't surpirsing to those of us who know her. This year, she's participating again because it means so much to her to help others and honor her mother.

Daria inspires me to remember others, to strive to bring causes to the attention to others and to be a better person. She has grown into a wonderful woman, who is a great mother, friend and wife. She will soon be counseling young people, and I think the world will be better for it.

I have posted the link to her donation page. We all have things that are important to us, and this may not be yours. If not, please keep Daria in your thoughts as she prepares for this day. I know it will be a huge success for her because of her attitude. Her mother will definitely be honored by the kind of person she has become.

Friendships

The Super Bowl is tomorrow, and as I've done for the past two years, I have spent the week thinking about friendships. I tend to review past and current friendships and what different people have meant to me. Friendships also vary in the different stages of our lives.

One thing I have learned throughout life is that some friends are in our lives for a brief period. They may be our very best friend, but for someone reason they move out of our lives, leaving us to wonder why. I believe God puts these people in our lives for a reason. Maybe it's to help teach us something or maybe they have a special gift we need during that time. We learn from them.

There are lifelong friends, most since childhood or high school. You may not talk to these friends constantly but they're there to bond us to good times when we were young and before life got complicated. Some of these friends may be more constant, some one who has been right by our side throughout life. They know all our secrets and are part of some of our most important memories, while we were young and thought we were invinceable.

When we become adults, I think all friendships become even more important. They make us feel alive and important, give us a reason to keep going. Our true friends care and are there in bad or good times. These are friends we bond with for some reason and life just wouldn't be the same without them there.

My friend, Bob fell in this last category. He was my husband's best friend since high school, and when we married nine years ago, Bob came along. At first, I didn't understand him. "How can anyone smile all the time and talk as much as he does?" I constantly asked myself. But as the years progressed, we watched many football games together and our lives intermingled. I discovered that since he'd been friends with my husband for so many years that he could help me understand him when I was totally at a loss.

Bob died during the Super Bowl three years ago. My husband had moved to West Virginia and I was working out of Tuscaloosa. Bob was alone and I've questioned myself a lot whether or not I should have come home to watch the Super Bowl with him. Maybe I could have prevented this, I wondered.

I didn't realize until he died how important he had become to me. I still miss him terribly and the Super Bowl will never be the same. But I do know he would find it humorous that we have to remember him during one of the biggest party days of the year. He also would want me to not mourn him but remember him and the good times.

One thing I learned from Bob was to enjoy life more and to remember my friends, whether they're having good or bad days. I miss his calls during the day to encourage me but have developed a new friend who has helped fill that void. She is a constant encouragement to me and I value this friendship very much.

Last week, a friend of mine in Wisconsin lost a close friend suddenly and is mourning. I feel for her because I've been there. So sweet Daria, remember the good times, cherish the memories and fulfill your life. Your friend would want this for you. The void will never be filled but the pain will get better with time.

And that, my dear, is being a truly good friend.

Wisdom of a Mom

I think of my mother often and remember everyday many of the lessons learned from her. As a child, my mother was always there. She cooked, cleaned and sat at her sewing machine for hours making clothes for others. I can't even begin to count the number of cheerleading uniforms she made.

As I grew up there were many hours spent learning to read. I get my love of literature from her. It began when I was around five. I would sit in my chair by her sewing machine and she would sew while teaching me to read.

As I said I learned many things from her but of all the lessions she taught me there are two that spring to mind most often.

I had a friend whose mother didn't give her a lot of time. She often came to my mother who would listen to her and spend time with her. When we were about seven, I decided I didn't like this very much because she was taking "my time," and I didn't think that was fair to me. Mama explained to me that there would be many times in life that things wouldn't be fair and that sometimes we have to put other feelings first. To this day, I remember those words. I'm not as good at it as my mom was, and still is, but I try to practice this in my life.

As I was entering the fifth grade, they began sending black teachers into my elementary school. In the few weeks before the school term began, a neighbor talked badly about this particular teacher I was going to have because she was a negro. (Yes I'm old - very old terminology.)

He talked a lot, and I listened, and by the time I began school I was scared of this woman, who I'd never met. A few weeks later when I came in from school, mama asked me about my teacher who had asked the principal to remove me from her room because she was afraid I wouldn't learn from her. In the end, mama told me that the only difference between her and other teachers was the color of her skin and that it was okay for me to like her. My response was, "Good, because she's really nice."

Mrs. Colvin became one of my favorite teachers. My mom sewed for her, and I learned more from her than what was in my schoolbooks. Between her and my mom I began to look beyond the surface and to see a person for who they are.

These are just two important lessions I learned from mom. Don't ever think your children don't listen to you because they do, no matter what age they are. They listen to the good and the bad. Just hope the good stuff sticks; I think it did with me.

Wanna-be Bosses

Several things have been bothering me this week. One is a pet peeve of mine and has been since I began working at age 16. Why don't people just do the job they're employed to do?

Some people are hired to do a certain job, but eventually begin to think they are boss. They can't even do their jobs because they are so busy sticking their noses into other employee's business.

Last week, I was asked by my "boss" to go somewhere for work, and when another employee saw me there, all she was concerned with was why I was there and if I'd taken care of business before I left town. I always take care of my responsibilities and do my job, and I certainly wouldn't have been there if I hadn't been told to go.

She is one of those people who wants to be the big boss and is frustrated because she doe'snt have the position she thinks she should. In her mind, she is more important than she actually is. However, this person doesn't seem to be able to answer her phone or return a call.

And while I know this about her, it still bothers me. Why? Mostly because I don't like to be questioned, especially by someone who is not my "boss." So, here is my message wanna-be boss, please stop. You are not impressing anyone and are only making enemies. Just do your job and let others do theirs. If you actually do your job then maybe you'll deserve your paycheck.

I guess I'm venting a little, but don't worry, I'll only voice one pet peeve at a time.

A Road Less Traveled

At the ripe ol' age of 30, I decided to finish my college education and enrolled at The University of Alabama. This non-traditional student decided that instead of taking the easy route in fulfilling my foreign language requirement that I would take the road less traveled. Then again, this isn't unusual because I'm not known to take the "normal" route in life.

The language I chose was Russian, and after fulfilling my requirement, I decided to minor in this language. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

Russian is a difficult languge to learn. I wasn't the best or most fluent, but I truly loved those classes. It showed me that I can do anything I really want to do. I dove into it and even spent time with the Russian students at the University. This was a true learning experience.

Most often we hear about the hard side of Russian personalities. They do typically have a more difficult life than we do in the United States, however, they are very generous and unselfish people. These students couldn't believe how many choices we have in grocery stores, etc. And I was humbled when I found out how disappointed they were in our Christmas celebration.

They thought because of all the decorations and presents being purchased it would be a huge celebration of family. After all, they do this in Russia with much less commercialism. For them Christmas is about family and reminiscing.

Another thing that surprised me is how giving they are. If you visited their home, and they only had one potato left, they'd insist you eat it. Also, never refuse a gift. They give from their heart and are insulted if you don't receive.

I almost went to Russia on the exchange student program but something told me not to go. In the end, it was also the best decision for me, but I've never forgotten those students or the professors who taught me.

Sometimes lessons in life can come from some of the most unusual places and people. Through this minor, I learned people are not always what they seem and to keep an open mind about people with different backgrounds from mine.

After all, we can always learn from each other. To my old Russian friends I say thank you.

Confessions of a journalist

I have a confession to make: I don't like Oprah. I realize this puts me in a small minority, and I probably just made a lot of people angry. The fact is I don't buy into her "image."

According to her bio she started as a journalist. I won't even get into a "journalist" who not only names her magazine after herself but also puts her image on the front of it each month. A real journalist wouldn't do that, nor do they believe in self-promotion.

Anytime she does something "good" for others or has big giveaways on her show, she promotes up to and after the event. If Oprah is truly doing this to benefit others, and from her heart, why does she feel the need to boast about. It all comes down to the bottom line. Most of the giveaways are paid for by the advertisers or manufacturers providing the products. The network is making mega bucks, which means Oprah is making even more money. This means that Oprah is happy because this not only boosts her substantial income, but also, her image. Good ol' Oprah.

If she really wants to help others, she should let go of some money and help those who truly need it. Then don't brag about it. Just do it and feel good about doing something wonderful, not something to make you look good in others eyes.

Bragging has always been a pet peeve of mine. I hate it when people boast about what they've done. Some of my colleagues do this and it irritates me. If you're doing your job as you should then the powers to be know, and you shouldn't have to bring it to their attention. I mean truly, I don't care and don't want to hear about it. Sorry, I digressed.

For those of you who are thinking of all the good Oprah has done and want to blast me, don't waste your time. Yes, I'm a smartass and opinionated but this is how I truly feel and think. I just don't like Oprah or her lack of ethics.

Believe me, Oprah doesn't care what I think. After all, I'm one person in a sea of thousands who do buy into her image. And with that said, the sun with still rise tomorrow ...

"Let It Be"

I've changed the title of my blog several times because I just can't get it right. There are many things in life like that; we just don't get it at first. It might take a while. Maybe my title will stay the same, and maybe it will evolved into something else. I've never been a stagment person who keeps things the same. I change too often for some people ... I actually like change. Unfortunately, most people want me to stay as I am, either personally or professionally. This drives me crazy.

Why can't we see that we're all different. We're not all a bunch of stepford clones put here to robotitize through life. For example, I have a friend who believes in group therapy. I don't even get into one-on-one therapy, but I don't criticize her for what works for her.

Now, why did I bring this up? Because I truly believe life is what we make of it and it's different for everyone. I can't choose how Mary Sue runs her life or how she makes life choices. I can only do that for myself. If therapy works for her, then so be it. If she wants to run down the road naked, then so be it. She might get arrested but that's the risk "she chooses" to take.

So, all you self-appointed, richteous people, who think you have all the answers, take a chill pill. We all have different components that make us who we are. As the Beatles sang, "Let It Be."

Temporary husband

Continued ... So we were all herded off the faulty plane and told to make reservations for another flight. I stood in a very long line for what seemed like eternity. They were helping me and another guy at the same time, and we were put on a flight on another airline. And since we only had a few minutes to make it, took off running for the terminal.

Unfortunately, we were in such a hurry that I didn't look at the voucher before checking in. It was then I found out I had a husband, and we were reserved as Donna and Tom Pierce.

I was going to tell them the names were not right but then an angel popped on one shoulder and a devil on the other. The angel said to do the right thing, have the reservation corrected and take the chance on missing a flight out that day. The devil said I was in control and should take the easy way out. After all, what did difference did a name make? Then Tom told me tomorrow was his daughter's birthday and he had to get home, so being the nice person I am, decided I should help him out. However, I also told him that if something happened to the plane his name wouldn't be correct on the passenger list. I guess the previous faulty plane was still in his mind, he went white and I realized once again my realism needed to be shushed.

So we checked in and he stuck to me like glue. The flight attendants called him Mr. Pierce and he acted like such. During the layover in Charlotte, he stood outside the restroom and waited for me, ate with me and sat with me while waiting to board. I decided to take a break from him and called my then fiance/now husband and told him I was temporarily married. He laughed and said "I'm supposed to be surprise? Something strange always happens to you when you travel." Realistically, he was right.

After landing in Birmingham, my temporary husband took off to catch a fight to Minnesota, and I took off to baggage claim. That was the end to my temporary marriage, and what I learned from this was, realistically, no one was hurt.

Realism (in my mind anyway)

Even when I was young, I was a realistic person. I don't see situations through rose-colored glasses, instead I see them as they are in my mind. A prime example of this occured about 13 years ago when I was working as a writer for a magazine and traveling a great deal.

I was flying out of Orlando with a layover in Charlotte and then on to Birmingham. My initial flight was an hour late leaving Orlando due to a technical problem with the plane. Finally, we boarded and were one hour into the flight when it was announced we were returning to Orlando instead of continuing to Charlotte. It was a two hour flight, and at the halfway point, they were turning us around. It was the same distance to Charlotte why turn us around?

This bounced around in my head for a few seconds and then it hit me: Charlotte doesn't want us. I turned to the nicely dressed businessman beside me and said, "You do know there's a problem with the plane?" He asked me what I meant. I explained. He panicked and then others panicked, and the flight attendant looked like she could strangle me. In my realistic mind, it was a fact and didn't upset me so why not tell others. What I didn't take into account was that most others don't think as I do.

Needless to say, when we landed there were firetrucks and rescue units waiting. We landed safely but it was an eye-opening experience to me. Not everyone is realistic and I shouldn't impose my realism on others.

They booked us on other flights, and I ended up being temporarily married, but that's a story for another time.

Beginnings

We have many beginnings in life.   One path closes and it's up to us to open another door and step through. I believe the beginning that led to my purpose in life happened nine years ago when I married for the first time and became a mother.  I've learned a lot from my daugher and believe that my relationship with her has led to the person I am today.

Before Lauren, my life was all about me and had been for 42 years.  At times, it was difficult to let my selfishness go and put her first, however, I always tried to consider her feelings by letting her feel included.  It wasn't just me and her dad; it was us as a family.  When I look back on the past few years, I believe I've learned more from her than any educational, work or life experiences I've had. 

She isn't perfect but then none of us are.  There have been many trials along the way, but I'm very proud of how she's handled them and admire the person she has become. People are often surprised at how close we are, and I guess that's because "steps" aren't supposed to have close relationships.

Lauren has become a beautiful, intelligent, funny and delightful 23-year-old woman, and I'm thrilled to be part of her life.  She is truly someone I look up to.

Work in Progress

As my title states, this is a work in progress.  I'm still designing page, etc.  I'm here because my friend, Daria, has encouraged me to do so.  Right now, I need her exceptional design skills.  Cross your fingers ...