Friendships

The Super Bowl is tomorrow, and as I've done for the past two years, I have spent the week thinking about friendships. I tend to review past and current friendships and what different people have meant to me. Friendships also vary in the different stages of our lives.

One thing I have learned throughout life is that some friends are in our lives for a brief period. They may be our very best friend, but for someone reason they move out of our lives, leaving us to wonder why. I believe God puts these people in our lives for a reason. Maybe it's to help teach us something or maybe they have a special gift we need during that time. We learn from them.

There are lifelong friends, most since childhood or high school. You may not talk to these friends constantly but they're there to bond us to good times when we were young and before life got complicated. Some of these friends may be more constant, some one who has been right by our side throughout life. They know all our secrets and are part of some of our most important memories, while we were young and thought we were invinceable.

When we become adults, I think all friendships become even more important. They make us feel alive and important, give us a reason to keep going. Our true friends care and are there in bad or good times. These are friends we bond with for some reason and life just wouldn't be the same without them there.

My friend, Bob fell in this last category. He was my husband's best friend since high school, and when we married nine years ago, Bob came along. At first, I didn't understand him. "How can anyone smile all the time and talk as much as he does?" I constantly asked myself. But as the years progressed, we watched many football games together and our lives intermingled. I discovered that since he'd been friends with my husband for so many years that he could help me understand him when I was totally at a loss.

Bob died during the Super Bowl three years ago. My husband had moved to West Virginia and I was working out of Tuscaloosa. Bob was alone and I've questioned myself a lot whether or not I should have come home to watch the Super Bowl with him. Maybe I could have prevented this, I wondered.

I didn't realize until he died how important he had become to me. I still miss him terribly and the Super Bowl will never be the same. But I do know he would find it humorous that we have to remember him during one of the biggest party days of the year. He also would want me to not mourn him but remember him and the good times.

One thing I learned from Bob was to enjoy life more and to remember my friends, whether they're having good or bad days. I miss his calls during the day to encourage me but have developed a new friend who has helped fill that void. She is a constant encouragement to me and I value this friendship very much.

Last week, a friend of mine in Wisconsin lost a close friend suddenly and is mourning. I feel for her because I've been there. So sweet Daria, remember the good times, cherish the memories and fulfill your life. Your friend would want this for you. The void will never be filled but the pain will get better with time.

And that, my dear, is being a truly good friend.